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Wisdom Teeth

It seems as though the big summer activity for the high school Class of 2010 (soon to be the college Class of 2014!) wasn’t babysitting, working at a grocery store, or doing community service. No, instead, far too many of us sat back, went to sleep, and had our wisdom teeth out. In the early days of the summer, everywhere I turned there were Facebook statuses that read, “Ouch,” “I look like a chipmunk,” or “ALL DRUGGED UP!!” I even had some friends over and one of them came equipped with a curved syringe for squirting water into her wisdom toothless holes in the back of her mouth after eating.

I lightly joked about my friends’ oral maladies and confirmed their likenesses to chipmunks, but karma bites, baby. My mom came home one day toward the end of July and said, “I hope you don’t have plans for August 5, because you’re having your wisdom teeth out!” I stared back in disbelief and groaned.

I’ll skip the gruesome details and get to the metaphor. Can you honestly think of a more appropriate time for so many 18-year-olds to have their wisdom teeth out than the summer before college? We’re about to embark on a life-changing journey, and yes, sadly, be pushed back to the bottom of the food chain. SEN10RS, you can stop swinging your lanyards around your fingers, coolly sipping your Starbucks, and swaggering around the school with your aviators on, because you’re a freshman again. Simply put, we, the Class of 2014, are about to be viewed as the most unwise, lost, and pathetic people on campus—even those few of us who still have our wisdom teeth.

No matter how little I really want to be a freshman again, though, I’m mentally prepared for the college transition, and I feel like high school ended exactly when I was ready for it to end. But my dining room begs to differ with my readiness, as it lacks all organization and closely resembles the storerooms of Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Staples, and Walmart. I will undoubtedly be packing like a maniac the night before I leave.

So, we went through the hell of applying to college and the emotional rollercoaster of various acceptances, rejections, and waitlists, and finally, the day we’ve been anticipating is near. Roommates have been Facebook-stalked, duvet covers bought, and goodbyes to hometown friends said. The Class of 2014 may lack wisdom and some prehistoric teeth, but we’re not worse off for it. And hey, just be thankful your family didn’t videotape you like this guy’s family did:

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