Skip to content

How Not to Take a Test

This unfortunately true story comes from my own experience during finals last semester…

There are plenty of resources out there for test-taking help and preparation. A quick Google search will get you millions of ways to properly ready your mind and body for the stress of tests. With midterms in the air for many students, I thought I'd share something different: how not to take a test. Read on for a step-by-step guide on how to guarantee a bad day, brought to you by my experience with the CSC 171 final exam, fall 2013.

How Not to Take a Final Exam, by Ty Kelley

*Pre-requisites: stay up too late, eat poorly for a few days in a row, and neglect to study for the exam*

  1. Sleep through two alarms.
  2. Realize that you missed half of your exam.
  3. Put on a shirt and sprint through the rain halfway across campus.
  4. Stumble into a full lecture hall of 150 people with your shoes untied and pants falling down because you aren't wearing a belt.
  5. Awkwardly walk up to the professor, who then gives you the exam and says, "Glad you could be with us today."
  6. Respond with a delayed grunt because you're too tired to come up with anything polite or witty.
  7. Rush to finish the exam in time, while realizing that you have the same professor next semester.

Happy midterms!

-Ty